PS 3525 
.E735 

:3 

1915 
^opy 1 



California Geyser 



VfV N. MESERVE 



A 

CALIFORNIA GEYSER 



BY 



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PUBLISHED FOR THE AUTHOR BY 

THE WARREN PRESS 

160 WARREN STREET, BOSTON, MASS. 
1915 






Copyright, 1915 

BY 

William N. Meserve 






A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 



The lecturer at first looks wise, 
Starts low then takes a riser, 

Then plunges forth in heated guise 
Then froths and spouts — A Geyser. 

Succeeding verses show some nerve 
And possibly some fervor; 

Produced by William N. Meserve, 
A somewhat bold rhyMe server. 

With verse the world is overflowed ; 

Helps this to overload her? 
It's good and justifies the ode 

That yields a pleasing odor. 

The sweet-breathed calla ever shall 
Delight us with its pallor; 

The author wrote this book in Cal., 
The State that grows the calla. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 



5 Heaven's flag has waved since time began, 

We give it glad hosanna ; 
To all things bad it is a ban, 
To all things good, a banner. 

6 So much depends upon one's goal; 

Must be a self-controller; 
And every rightly ordered soul 
Less lunar is than solar. 

7 'Twere better much the mouth to shut 

Than merely utter mutter; 
Whoever expletives with tut 
May some day stut-tut-tutter. 

8 What mighty consequences cram 

Within some little clamor! 
It's often true, only a dram 
Preludes a shameful drama. 

9 A fine gift is the gift of wit, 

Delightful, seldom bitter; 
Whose wisdom-lamp when brightly lit 
Reveals a world of litter. 

10 Hats at attractive gold will doff 
As slips it in the coffer; 
They're seldom known to call it off 
Who have a golden offer. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 



11 This puts you, snuffers in a huff; 

You rate me as a duffer; 
Reserve your venom for the snuff 
That puts you in the snuffer. 

12 And still the serried armies grow 

And multiply the more; 
And to the front they quickly go 
To pour the more their gore. 

13 Ne'er everlasting any calm, 

Appears in course some harmer; 
At proper sounding of alarm 
The wise are seen all armor. 

14 In memory we ever shall 

Our mother dear recall her ; 
Nor can there be an interval 
That will not hint her valor. 

15 No use to treat it with disdain 

For nothing can be plainer, 
There is no power in weak champagne 
To make a strong campaigner. 

16 There's much that loves the grovel groove, 

To move it needs maneuver; 

But all such takes a hasty move 

When dynamite's the mover. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 



17 Some matters rude may yield much good, 

Somewhat of good things cruder ; 
No Lion lairs in lowly Jude, 
Press on to Him of Judah! 

18 The sneak will always dog the great, 

Obsequiously a waiter ; 
Possessing just the kind of trait 
That blossoms large in traitor. 

19 No matter if the times are calm 

And soundless the alarmer ; 
'Twere well to wear upon the arm 
Some good defensive armor. 

20 I need but simply to allege 

Without the aid of wager 
That I was once an army maj . — 
No, not the Ursa Major. 

21 On every hand is evidence 

That grows the while intenser 
That every one of good sound sense 
Should swing a heav'n-lit censer. 

22 Whoever will may surely hear 

And hear it growing clearer, 
Comes sweetly whisp'ring to the ear 
A coming golden era. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 



23 No doubt the world since time began 

Has had its propaganda; 
He's worshiper of old god Pan 
Who to his sins will pander. 

24 Some learners have the quest in eye 

And show a strong desire 
To find what best will edify 
And hold a steady fire. 

25 How gladly we strong drink eschew, 

We thirst for water pure ; 
So boozing meets its Waterloo 
Before the water lure. 

26 You'd better lay than raise a dust 

For nought is gained by bluster ; 
When duty plainly says you must! 
Then all your forces muster. 

27 'Tis grand to be iconoclast 

And tear things down the faster; 
Who stumbles on a bioplast 
Might need to buy a plaster. 

28 It's churchly light that's chiefly bright 

And bleaches darkness whiter ; 
The church when right is heaven's light, 
Beware how you do slight her. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 



29 The common scheme is take your ease 

And of yourself be pleaser ; 
Be careful every prize to seize 
And so rank well with Caesar. 

30 To think is more than "slinging ink," 

A thinker's more than tinker ; 
Significant is thin in think — 
The sloven of a thinker. 

31 What cunning craft now skim the sky, 

Fulfilling man's desire! 
No bird so high may hope to fly 
Or spy a higher flyer. 

32 Do not expect a man of rank 

For "rank and file" to hanker; 
As well expect a sandy bank 
To charm a handy banker. 

33 So many youth go to the bad, 

Whatever could be sadder? 

On every side we see some lad 

Descend the moral ladder. 

34 The wish above the earth to fly 

Denotes a good desire ; 
Whoever gains the noble high 
Discerns a nobler higher. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 



35 Much treatment by the world is rough 

And often hard to suffer; 

When treated to a hard rebuff 

SHp in a soft-word buffer. 

36 The more around the world we rove 

And look its contents over 
The more we see how small is Jove, 
How infinite JEHOVAH! 

37 Than prose or verse some things are worse, 

More need they an immerser ; 
Much prose is gross and worse some verse 
And ditto vice versa. 

38 The night-life makes you deviate, 

Of right-life makes you hater ; 
Its wine-cup makes you scintillate 
And ever sin till later. 

39 On every hand mankind agree 

And hold th' opinion clear 
That tho' one have an eye to see 
He may not be a seer. 

40 The world is ever falling short. 

Their structures constant totter; 
Because they put in place of ought 
Lies soft as fur of otter. 



10 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

41 If heaven is in your heart's intent 

And Christ is your Precentor, 
With Godly grief you must repent, 
Sow heavenly seed, reap, enter. 

42 She, Virtue, tramples idols all, 

Is free from slavish collar, 
A long call past the reign of doll 
And empire of the dollar. 

43 Her noblest deeds are not with foam. 

Writ small is her diploma. 
And yet her deeds for God and home 
Are epics for a Homer. 

44 In things of taste she is acute 

And easily a tutor ; 
Instinctive knows what best will suit, 
Who suit her best as suitor. 

45 Construct of it a back-door mat 

Then tramp it to a tatter 
Because it is so low and flat, 
The stuff that's meant to flatter. 

46 Be not we beg extravagant 

In foolish talk and banter ; 
For Peace is e'er intolerant 
Of every folly ranter. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 11 

47 To money bags men bend the knee 

Responsive to their cheer; 
If tempted with a greenback V 
They're seldom seen to veer. 

48 Water on molten masses poured 

Is off in steam 'short order;' 
Heroics of a tinner's sword 
Will effervesce like soda. 

49 I like things warm with right good will, 

I love it not, a chiller ; 
With all my faults I love me still — 
Small love for the distiller. 

50 Some places need much more than chill. 

They need a barrel-spiller ; 
Is wanted some one armed to kill. 
Some Jack the "joint" killer. 

51 The world they say is derelict, 

Awaits a tone-up victor; 
Is wanted something to constrict, 
A mighty bo' constrictor. 

52 We must to what is right be true 

And make foundations sure; 
By righteous standards we must do 
If what we do endure. 



12 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

53 No one is rising to deny 

Unless some crusty crier — 
There's fire enough in brandy pie 
To blaze a funeral pyre. 

54 As says the preacher-man to you 

So you should be a doer; 
For every rightly ordered pew 
Demands the Gospel pure. 

55 The lash will make one's passions fly 

And set him all on fire ; 
Yet nine and thirty on the eye 
Will not arouse his ire. 

56 How simple is the primal act, 

How swollen by an actor! 
Things lessen some when they contract — 
Made big by a contractor. 

57 Earth's probe is scarce beyond the edge, 

Heaven's search is with a dredger; 
Accounts of earth merely allege, 
On high is kept a ledger. 

58 He's not beyond the childish stage, 

Can't pass the standard gauger, 
Who, worse then foolish, puts his wage 
Upon a wicked wager. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 13 

59 Somewhat of what we may call mist 

Is seen in him, a mister; 

More myst-ery we do insist 

In her consists, his sister. 

60 No longer wait but do it now, 

While still remains the power, 
To make and keep a sturdy vow 
Nought harmful to devour. 

61 The earth by curse is set apart, 

The victim of foul barter, 
Whose drugs in Satan's fatal mart 
Make this poor world a martyr. 

62 How many they who strut and flout 

In guises of the doubter 
Whose doubting doubtless shuts them out 
In darkness that is outer. 

63 'Tis written large in Wisdom's book, 

'Twas folly that mistook her — 
'Tis gangrene to the eyes that look 
With greed on "filthy lucre." 

64 'Gainst lust let all that's good and just 

All righteous forces muster ; 
Forever every leering lust 
Denies the soul its lustre. 



14 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

65 Things beautiful have mighty lure 

For him the long endurer; 
The pinch of little makes him poor 
And longing makes him poorer. 

66 How easy is the step to take 

From Tightness down to faker! 
How little are the things we make, 
Of great things God is maker. 

67 To be or not to be said he, 

The bard of Avon, seer; 
With lapse of time 'tis not to be 
With those who booze on beer. 

68 On heaven's highway no rogues may stalk 

Nor any thievish walker; 
In ocean depths there needs no lock 
On "Davy Jones's locker." 

69 Success at making common bricks 

Requires a skilful mixer; 
Whoever tries at man's "best licks" 
Needs Gospel's best elixir. 

70 At loneliness we make ado. 

No one shall us immure ; 
Blest company e'er calls for two, 
Looks unto two to tour. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 15 

71 No day may ever need be dull, 

Of good it might be fuller ; 
From Bible readings one may cull 
What gives to life its color. 

72 To blazing fires consign the whip, 

Frown down the clown the whipper; 
All right when handy foot lets slip 
The fine corrective slipper. 

73 The liar when he comes to die 

Must quiver in the fire; 
Yet heavenly melodies may lie 
Within a quivering lyre! 

74 Some cunning rogues are coolly cute, 

Related to the looter; 
Forever seeking to impute 

Bright silver's worth to pewter. 

75 This has no reference to you, 

You're better bred I'm sure; 
But some there are whose word is pooh! 
When asked to help the poor. 

76 'Twere well to make and keep a vow 

To do what's in our power, 
To know how best to live and how 
To use the present hour. 



16 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

77 Inclined is she to jeer and scoff 

When nothing comes as proffer; 
By word and action says, "hands off"- 
Unless a hand's the offer. 

78 Mahogany has hog in view 

And much of pigment sure; 
'Twould surely make a funny chew 
But makes fine furniture. 

79 Before great schemes 'twere well to bow 

And seek for needful power ; 
Hare-brained are they who seize a scow 
The mighty seas to scour. 

80 Some fight at dropping of a hat 

And rave with wicked clatter; 
And never end the foolish spat 
Till blood begins to spatter. 

81 There is a gentle, harmless wit 

That cutely is a hitter ; 
Unlike acidulated twit — 

More like some soft sweet twitter. 

82 Admire we those who dare to fly 

And up to heights aspire; 
Who leave the ground and upward hie 
To sightly heights sky higher. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 17 

83 I knew a doctor, oft he chose 

To hitch his chair up closer 
That he might use his practised nose 
As truthful diagnoser. 

84 Some things have rose-scent for the nose 

But to the eye brought closer 
Are least suggestive of the rose 
So hideous sub rosa! 

85 If one should seek me to undo 

By mean discomfiture 
I'd put on him a size-small shoe 
To make my vengeance sure. 

86 Sharp lunar caustic maketh whole, ^ 

The body's swift controller; 
The sorer ailments of the soul ' 

Need caustic that is Solar. 

87 Connecticut is ranked first rate 

By every commentator; 
The little nutmeg State is great — 
Near by she finds a gr(e)ater. 

88 Have at them with a heavy maul ' 

Until enough! they "holler;" 
Who fan the fires of base base-ball 
Each one's a low bass bawler. 



18 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

89 Great numbers have the tramping lust 
And move along with bluster ; 
They show unnumbered specks o' dust 
On every "exoduster." 

90 There is a word, 'tis full of glee 

And quite as full of cheer, 
A lovely word, begins with D, 
Completes itself in dear. 

91 The ne'er-do-well who shows great lack 

And ever grows the slacker, 
He should be made to toe the crack 
Or hunger for his cracker. 

92 Earth's noble prizes him await 

Who crosses his equator ; 
He who's all talk, no operate. 
Is but a sorry prater. 

'93 Twixt wing and leg we instant know 
Which pleases us the more; 
Yet pass we by the flying crow 
And choose the running crower. 

94 It is the never-changing lot 

To every son and daughter 
That what in childhood is a "tot" 
In age becomes a totter. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 19 

95 At dinner-time no one's inert, 

Is rarely found alerter ; 
The advent of a good dessert 
Is marked by no deserter. 

96 Exceeding great should be our care 

To be the right flag bearer ; 

That as we on life's journey fare 

'Tis toward a region fairer. 

97 What if what follows could be true 

'Twould make your fortune sure: 
The graces all are found in you, 
They all in you inure. 

98 It's well with each man to go straight, 

A careful operator; 
Beware how you manipulate 
Or one may nip you later. 

99 Don't fly into an angry heat, 

Much better to be sweeter; 
Give sugar taken from the beet 
Is better than to beat her. 

100 That home is surely on the wise 
That's run by no mean miser ; 
Among the best of happy ties 
Is found the appetiser. 



20 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

101 He wants to do the handsome thing 

And studies what to bring her ; 
He hesitates between a ring — 
Or, better still, a wringer. 

102 He calls things ornamental, bosh! 

Declares they give him nausea; 
Such fol-de-rol he says wont wash — 
And so provides a washer. 

103 Efficiency is found in few 

Whose promises are sure; 
A noisy, blustering ado 
Scarce represents a doer. 

104 You give a glutton mild rebufif 

He'll turn on you the rougher; 
He's made of poorest kind of stuff 
Who's but a stomach stuffer. 

105 Whoever lets his morals slip, 

The victim of a tripper, 
May sometimes do quite well to skip 
With some outsailing skipper. 

106 With some we join in covenant 

And some we leave instanter ; 

Whoe'er encounters can't and cant 

Should leave them at a canter. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 21 



107 Whoever is with notions filled 

Will prove a foolish builder; 

No matter how he may be willed 

They'll surely him bewilder. 

108 There is a great prize that is high 

That any may acquire; 
At first approach the prize as spy, 
Then mightily aspire! 

109 I seek for gold a thousand fine, 

For Him the skilled Refiner; 
The Bible is the mine, and mine. 
If I serve well as miner. 

110 When comes some buzzing scandal-chat 

Give it no chance to scatter 
But wipe it on the back-door mat 
If 'tis a trifling matter. 

111 The queens of song are singing on 

And each has honors on her ; 
Whatever laurels they may don 
Mary's the pre Madonna. 

112 Your face against all gambling set 

Or find yourself in fetter ; 
Great foolishness It is to bet; 
Bet not, "you bet," you'd better. 



22 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

113 Beware the heedless heartless crew 

Of whom each one Is boor ; 
Who, seeking to discomfort you, 
Work your discomfiture. 

114 Low-spirited and dull are you, 

You hardly can endure? 
The Gospel gives to you a cue 
To point you to a cure! 

115 We strongly urge you to be well 

And be a right good "feller;" 

But should it come, a feeble spel, 

Call In the — Webster speller. 

116 The man of words we're apt to flout. 

Especially a shouter; 
What house can do without a spout, 
What town without a spouter? 

117 The noisy world wears deep its rut 

And gossips wide its mutter; 
'Twere well to keep the mutter shut 
To sputter under shutter. 

118 Admire we him who's boldly brave, 

We take him into favor; 
He launches forth and breasts the wave 
And calmly waives a waver. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 23 

119 Not every one who on demand 

Is of big fish a lander ; 
The man who wins a propagand' 
He is a proper gander. 

120 Whatever instruments are in 

The dinner bell is winner ; 

There is no music like the din 

That calls us in to dinner. 

121 The fight is on, its heat is white, 

Incessantly grows brighter; 
And looks to see each neophyte 
Become a hero fighter. 

122 Countless around are friends and foes 

"Like leaves in Val Ombrosa;" 
And how most properly to pose 
Quite often is a poser. 

123 The highways of the world you try 

To see what they require ; 
You Wisdom see, don't pass her by 
She'd have you be a buyer. 

124 The wilful one who will not see 

The blindest does appear ; 

And "deafer than a post" is he 

Who'll pos'tWely not hear. 



24 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

125 Forever since man's world began 

The food that takes the banner 
And is most prof table for man 
Is heaven's soul-feeding manna. 

126 'Tis good, yes, better is the best 

As seen by every tester; 
The grand superlative is est, 
Denghtf 'ly seen in Esther. 

127 Some leading men, their names are blank, 

Took ship and nearly sank her ; 
'Tis strange that men of highup rank 
Should show the lowdown rancor. 

128 A "frozen smile" however bland 

Is to the true as slander ; 
Like splendid fruitage when it's canned, 
If I may speak with candor. 

129 Eureka! happily our feet 

Pursue the path discreeter 
If only happily we meet 
Attuned to common metre. 

130 We search and come at last to see 

One Lord alone appear; 
To Him we gladly bend the knee ; 
No other far or near. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 25 

131 He should be smitten on the kopf 

And sent to play the gopher ; 
There's universal use for loaf 
But none at all for loafer. 

132 We hear of ways the "drop" to drop, 

They're scarcely worth a copper; 
The real, royal way to stop 
Is stop the popping stopper. 

133 Great joy to some is in a spat 

No matter what the matter; 
The luxury of "tit for tat" 
Precursor is of tatter. 

134 Some get their passions all inflate 

And think their pleasure greater; 
Some others when they recreate 
List well to their Creator. 

135 Heaven's Architect is heaven's Lord 

Declared by heaven's recorder; 
Before His mighty works we're awed. 
Spellbound to see their order. 

i36 Whate'er you have that's much at fault 
Is something good to alter; 
And music is not seen in salt 
Except you make it psalter. 



26 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

137 When what you say gains a hurrah! 

Intending you to flatter 
The danger is that such eclat 
Degenerate to clatter. 

138 Some little one may be anoint 

To join or be disjointer; 
Some little sharp acute penpoint 
Is oft to great things pointer. 

139 So much to master and to know 

And multiplies the more; 
The intellect starts strangely low — 
Climbs high while getting lore. 

140 Earth's axis end has long been goal 

To tempt the eager stroller; 
'Tis claimed they've fairly reached the Pole- 
Now reach the star more polar! 

141 Perfection's seat is 'way 'way back, 

'Tis difficult to track her; 
In almost everything is lack — 
Save putty or some lacquer. 

142 A never ending faker host 

This poor world seems to foster; 
Impose a ruinous impost 
On every such imposter! 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 27 

143 Sailors are held both hard and fast 

Safeguard against disaster; 
The more they are "before the mast" 
The more behind the master. 

144 Life's highway you are traveling on 

Can lead to endless honor; 
Fight on before your chance is gone, 
Fight on or you're a "goner"! 

145 Low living loosely, lacking light. 

Of danger is inviter; 
Whoe'er is living under right 

Should seek heaven's Underwriter. 

146 But little of the earth is tilled, 

Her beckoning hands bewilder; 
For things uncommon you are billed, 
Arise and be a builder! 

147 You wish to find a happy home, 

A home that's no misnomer? 
'Twere worth the while to go aroam 
To find earth's best aroma. 

148 In seeming innocence she's wrapt. 

Than she there's none that's apter; 
And when with picture hat she's capt 
She wears the airs of captor. 



28 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

149 Maturing youth has boyish craze 

T' impress the casual gazer; 
A man's beard is his hope to raise — 
To fall before the razor. 

150 Poor creatures we, we all aver, 

Tho' possibly in error; 
When our poor bodies they inter 
Will we be found in terra? 

151 The spirit of all wars is mean, 

To spoil and render leaner ; 
Where dispositions are irene 
Avoid they war's arena. 

152 Whoever sees a pick'rel swish 

Instanter is a wisher; 
A first-rate place for fried fresh fish 
Is in the lingual fissure. 

153 'Twere well our dark forebodings ceased; 

Let every one be f easter ; 
For He who glories west and east 
Has glorified our Easter. 

154 Invading firesides is no joke. 

It wakes the moody croaker; 
Who says : The nose that dares to poke 
Invites the handy poker. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 29 

155 Look to the sky they proudly say, 

See suns on suns up there; 
That only is a "milky way" — 
Down here's a butter weigher, 

156 Tobacco chewing's down to date 

And needs a swift abater ; 
A chewer must expect to rate 
A vile expectorater. 

157 Some women, few, strange garb assume 

Of whom 'tis said by rumor 
That they have lost their radiant bloom 
Who radiate in bloomer. 

158 Behooves me sure to be discreet 

And possibly be sweeter; 
Need not exhort me to be neat — 
I am a true "Bean Eater." 

159 Each morning, noon and every e'en 

We seek the way that's cleaner; 
We crave that things that would demean 
Attack not our demeanor. 

160 Keep calm and cool, be not extreme. 

Nor be a foolish dreamer; 
Have care, beware a fiery theme 
That brings on erythema. 



30 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

161 Sweet sympathy we love to see 

And of it love to hear; 
Serves noble purpose "to a T" 
When glistened by a tear. 

162 Let them who will some goddess serve 

With much or little fervor; 
More profit find I in my nerve 
Than aught from her, Minerva. 

163 He measures but a little span 

Who never is a planner ; 
He's "small potatoes" of a man 
Who nothing cares for manner. 

164 So much the world develops sham, 

So much is merely glamour; 
So little like the noiseless clam 
So much like noisy clamor. 

165 Awaits the world the garbage cart 

To ferret every quarter 
For slang just fairly floods the mart; 
To that the world is martyr. 

166 He well deserves some handling rough, 

Should get it from a cuffer; 
When prowling 'round with sneezy snufif 
Efface him with a snuffer. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 31 

167 There is a snake that's very bad, 

Regard it from a ladder; 
We'd rather it subtract than add, 
That poison-dealing adder. 

168 If one I know were only dumb 

I'd welcome him as comer; 
He comes, finds in my ear his drum 
And plays the part of drummer. 

169 Some marshall wildly all their force 

And shout till they get hoarser; 
Their veins swell up to varicose, 

Their speech gets coarse and coarser. 

170 You'd better her ill will abate 

With some pacificater 
Or else you'll find that lass irate 
May use a lacerater. 

171 Philosophers of great big eye 

To giddy heights aspire; 
But reach instead of heights, O my, 
Such floundering depths o' mire! 

172 Some kinds of hate are quite innate 

Appearing soon or later ; 
You never can domesticate 
A sour-dough masticator. 



32 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

1 73 Looked far and wide on every side 

My circle growing wider; 
At last! I cried on having spied 
A real web-foot spider. 

174 In California they assign 

Great value to the miner, 
Requiring eighteen forty nine 
To make one "forty-niner." 

175 Far better not in danger go 

Because you may deplore ; 
Much better not your small skiff row 
Where heartless breakers roar. 

176 Small brooks to mighty rivers lead, 

The small to great is feeder ; 
How singularly small the seed 
That grows a soaring cedar! 

177 Of Bible people there's no end 

Of those who evil render ; 
Among the many "which" offend 
We note the witch of Endor. 

178 In Death's hard hand the bow is bent 

With arrow made to enter; 
At given signal it is sent 

And finds the mark at centre. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 33 

179 With drunkards everything's aslant, 

They wabble as they saunter; 
Upon a drunken mendicant 
You find a men's decanter. 

180 To see the mountains many go 

But soon have raptures more 
That multiply with O and Oh! 
At sight of golden ore. 

181 On automobiles hear him dote, 

Owns one and is a gloater ; 

The eye is mainly minus mote 

That rightly sees a motor. 

182 Who drinks too much will soon or late, 

And sooner too than later 
Discover that a dizzy pate 
Attends a dissipater. 

183 Out to the hay field blithe we go 

And give its work encore ; 
At scythes we sigh that grass to mow, 
We'd rather less than more. 

184 If comes he cooing like a dove. 

Persistently to hover, 
Then 'cause we dearly love to love 
We'll treasure such a lover. 



34 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

185 He comes and gives your bell a ring, 

A wicked nuisance bringer, 
Just send him forthwith traveling 
Forbidding him to linger. 

186 The risk by some is counted great 

By many a cordial hater ; 
They counsel ne'er inoculate 
For fear it knock you later. 

187 'Tis needful he should be acute, 

A very bull's-eye shooter; 
And more than commonly astute 
Who tongues the world as tutor. 

188 Some writers into passion fly 

Which mounts up high and higher; 
In hard polemics versify — 
A controversy fire. 

189 Some one has been so mean to you 

You never can endure? 
Before your final act to sue 
Just — dump it in the sewer! 

190 You'll find him in his chosen clique 

Against all good a kicker; 
Of work he never does a lick — 
Save lick his lips for liquor. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 35 

191 Some schools there are of low estate, 

Contending none is greater; 
Beware how you matriculate 
Or they may trick you later. 

192 Into each others arms they fly, 

To blissful heights aspire, 
And dote upon the binding tie — ■ 
Until the parties tire. 

195 When you and I went off to school 
Our ardor soon grew cooler ; 
Closely allied to proper rule 
We found the handy ruler. 

194 Music hath power to quick the brain, 

A wonderful constrainer ; 
Against some siren's sweet refrain 
Be a discreet refrainer. 

195 I had a fowl and got his mate 

And gave her to a waiter 
To coop her and domesticate — ■ 
That same domestic ate her. 

196 Just as men sow they always reap 

And scarce a truth probes deeper; 
And they who scheme and get and keep 
Will some day get a keeper. 



36 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

197 Much talk on talk will much befog 

And little good will augur ; 
Contestants in such dialogue 
Will set their "heads a-logger." 

198 I'm in for harmless sparks of fun — 

Blank cartridge kind of gunner; 
Materials and make home spun — 
A little weak Holmes punner. 

199 Residing where volcanoes hiss 

You call it Buena Vista; 
Resembles much the kind of bliss 
Discovered in a blister. 

200 He who as yet is but half-fledge 

Should carefully be hedger ; 
Some people, instant to allege, 
No day book keep nor ledger. 

201 'Twere ever well to guard the lip, 

Quick temper is a tripper; 
Whoever wears the shoulder-chip 
May soon feel far from "chipper." 

202 Down, down they go in swath that's wide, 

A down that is not "eider;" 
Some drink themselves to suicide 
On alcoholic cider. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 37 

203 Each one is hailed — wake out of trance, 

Press on a true advancer ; 
Who never overcomes his can'ts 
Will breed a moral cancer. 

204 But little does he wet the lip 

Who merely is a sipper ; 
God, bountiful, would have him dip - 
With heaven's great northern dipper. 

205 We're in demand, myself and you, 

Respond we must for sure ; 

The likes of us were always few, 

We fear we're getting fewer. 

206 He eats at will and drinks at will. 

Of rightness is a killer; 
He won't do well but will sin till 
Of sense he's no scintilla. 

207 For money many fume and fret 

And every one's a sweater; 
But riches sorrow will beget — 
Go slow's the better getter. :* • 

208 The distance short and short the time 

And all of it sublimer — 
He comes to every kind of clime, 
The aviating climber. 



38 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

209 You write, you think, a melody- 

Expecting cheers t'appear; 

You feel quite sure of eulogy — 

They give to you low jeer. 

210 Your mouth-marks seem to indicate 

That you have played the traitor; 
And if it was in sin you ate 
They are insinuator. 

211 Mean gossip hath an aftermath 

That to great harm is father; 

Be sure and "tell it not in Gath" 

Nor where the gossips gather. 

212 She is so cute and elegant. 

So ready for a banter! 
Beams on us with a charming chant, 
Is charmer and enchanter. 

213 The way of indolence forsake, 

It is a trouble-maker ; 
One way to dissipate its ache 
Is, cultivate your acre. 

214 We dearly love the modest beau 

Who never is a bore; 
Unlike the man of wordy flow 
Who takes and holds the floor. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 39 

215 To stuff their stomachs many give 

The labor of a beaver ; 
But they who merely eat to live 
Fear no rebellious liver. 

216 Hard disappointment in the main 

Meets him, a poor maintainer; 
Whoever will "try, try again" 
Is apt to be a gainer. 

217 The world is full of base "clap trap" 

And people merely dapper; 
Whose eyes mayhap have endless snap, 
Whose tongue is mostly snapper. 

218 Time flies and ever fatefully 

And brings your ending near; 
Give careful heed and listen ye! 
Is this your fateful year? 

219 In prophecy the proper way 

Is list the true purveyor; 
It matters little what / say, 
List well what says Isaiah! 

220 So much we need a pleasing tact 

So much life's pleasing factor! 
It proper is to be exact — 
But not a hard exactor. 



40 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

221 In Paul's great splendid three ranks one 

Passed by by many a shunner; 
FAITH greatly helps life's race to run, 
Wings on the faithful runner. 

222 One virtue helps us to be brave, 

Forbids that we should waver ; 
HOPE has ability to save 
And has the heavenly savor. 

223 HOPE has a crown, a fadeless wreath 

Of sweet celestial heather ; 
Transcends whate'er is found beneath, 
Its heath has e'er been ether. 

224 The greatest of Paul's royal three, 

It floods the world with cheer ; 
It rhymes with dove and ends with E, 
So pleasing to the ear. 

225 You'll find it no uncommon fate 

As seen by common data ; 
Men wide and wider still dilate — 
Dilating still, die later. 

226 The hungry tramp his wits must use 

To circumvent abusers; 
He begs and what he gets he chews 
Tho' "beggars can't be choosers." 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 41 

227 No need to be a pachyderm 

Nor ever much to murmur ; 

The way to stand in terror firm, 

Stand on God's terra firma! 

228 To make adjustments study hard, 

Such study is rewarder. 
'Twere well indeed to preen with nard 
Lest something dampen ardor. 

229 Life's problem largely is to thrive 

And each must be contriver; 
Who gains from business would derive 
Not driven is but driver! 

230 It's better to avoid the path 

Where evil forces gather; 
Escape we should the path of wrath 
And choose the peaceful rather. 

231 The mind diseased wrecks not a few 

Whose ailments are obscure; 
He happy is who gets the cue 
That leads up to a cure. 

232 Bright minted gold men love to see 

And, getting, hold it dear; 
A freshly issued greenback V 
Most people will revere. 



42 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

233 Beware the swagg'ring loafer chap, 

His goods aren't worth the wrapper; 
He isn't worth a rag-man's scrap 
Who poses as a "scrapper." 

234 Your bumptious boy himself "allows" 

He classes with the rousers ; 

Is more than average he trows — 

He pants to trundle trousers. 

235 The sword is emblem of a fight, 

A tooth denotes a biter ; 
What smites and conquers left and right 
Is pencil of a writer. 

236 To see some things of sharp dissent 

Forbid by conscience-mentor 
Should paint the face of any gent 
The color of magenta. 

237 You never need go far to find 

A prevalent reminder 
That they are blindest of the blind 
Whose eyelid is their blinder. 

238 It may be nice to "chew the rag" 

And banter with a swagger ; 
You'd rather ride a crow-bait nag 
Than auto with a nagger. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 43 

239 Be careful what you put on file 

Else you may please the smiler; 
And only swell the scrapman's pil6 
For he is chief compiler. 

240 There is a sect that worries me, 

An insect 'tis, severe ; 
I only need to see the flea 
And you would see the fleer. 

241 In raising dust there is some risk 

But if it need be brisker 
'Tis this would make a royal whisk, 
A tattler's busy whisker. 

242 'Twere better much to be recluse 

Than be a license user; 
Whoe'er in moral things is loose 
Is sure to be the loser. 

243 Around and 'round is busy blat, 

A never ending clatter ; 
For what they say and call it chat 
Related is to chatter. 

244 To strongest ranks do vict'ries go? 

Not so says hist'ries' lore ; 
Oft victor he who daunts the foe 
E'en tho' they number four. 



44 A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 

245 By no means is't an eagle scream 

Or fancy of a dreamer ; 
The Stars and Stripes command esteem 
On land or on a steamer. 

246 There is a prize for him who tries, 

A diligent deviser; 
He's poorly wise if penny-wise, 
Arise! get wise and wiser. 

247 'Tis nice upon the sea to go 

And sail it o'er and o'er; 
But fatally there is no show 
Unless there is a shore. 

248 There is a way to walk upon 

Where's found no low-bred scorner; 
Where one may struggle on and on 
And win the crown of honor. 

249 In life's career small chance for halt 

Nor much its course to alter; 
And greatly is a man at fault 
Who finds a chance to falter. 

250 She seeks a hero, that's no sin 

Because 'twas born within her; 
She needs to be a heroine 
To be a hero winner. 



A CALIFORNIA GEYSER 45 

251 It's hard to know just where you're at 

In statecraft's tangled data ; 
It takes a cunning diplomat 
To probe a deep-low matter. 

252 They're not a few we should defend, 

Glad service we should render; 
To such we kindly should attend 
Whose hearts are torn and tender. 

253 It's scarce a tragedy to die 

So common to expire ; 
The bloody cross, that makes me sigh 
Rememb'ring the Messiah. 

254 How royal is the noble trend 

Of those who rightness render! 

And come they to a glad, glad end 

And more than glad addenda. 



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